PredicTIONs! Predictions!

What, nobody remembers Fiddler on the Roof?

With the long, cold, lonely winter finally ending (at least on the calendar, if not the thermometer), we open our eyes this morning to the thought that Opening Day, the only religious holiday on my calendar--or thermometer--is only five days away. Couldn't come soon enough.

I don't do predictions about the baseball season other than it will undoubtedly be better than the non-baseball season, which should be mandated by law to last no more than two weeks, in my humble opinion. But I think there are a few safe truths we can extrapolate from the hideous season and off-season just past.

First: The Yankees will be better this year than they were in 2013.

This is something of a no-brainer. The team bus would have to fall off a causeway traveling to a road exhibition game for the team to be worse than it was last year. Keep in mind Lyle Overbay as your everyday first baseman--and he was one of the best players on the field. A full season of Eduardo Nunez. Someone pretending to be Vernon Wells in left field. Ichiro's ghost in right.

The entire cast of Gilligan's Island playing third base. Was there even a catcher? I seem to remember the ball simply rolling to the backstop a lot.

A starting rotation that had a resemblance to a major league group, but only sometimes. A bullpen that held things together, mostly because Mariano Rivera had decided he wasn't going out looking like an old man.

Yeah, 2013 was a million laughs for Yankee fans. So good riddance to that, and yes, the team pretty much has to improve this year, if only based on the law of averages.

Second: The starting pitching will be better.

It looks like Masahiro Tanaka is the real thing, and that can't be anything but good. He's 25, he's got a cut fastball or slider or something that seems to move about eight feet, and he can throw hard when he needs to. He is exactly what the Yankees haven't had for years--a young stud.

Ivan Nova might actually turn into a reliable pitcher this year. There are signs, some of which are simply in Nova's new, humbler demeanor that he's maturing emotionally. Can't hurt.

Michael Pineda and CC Sabathia are question marks right now. You have to trust that CC, an intelligent pitcher with a lot of weapons, will figure it out. You also have to hope that Pineda's arm doesn't fall off at some point.

More rest must be found for Hiroki Kuroda. I'm guessing this isn't news to Larry Rothschild or Joe Girardi.

Third: Everybody's going to talk about age and health forever.

The infield, which some scouts are apparently saying is the worst on the planet (according to Jon Heyman, who often is right) certainly has lots of questions. Like who that guy is at third base. You can't believe the Yankees didn't expect Mr. Rod to be out all year, and yet there was no discernible attempt to fill the slot. Do they think Mr. Rod will come back next year, shake his shoulders and be the chemically enhanced MVP he was a few years ago?

Meanwhile, back at first base, Mark Teixeira will try to convince us that he's 100% better, despite evidence that he was on a decline--and a fairly steep one--BEFORE he hurt his wrist in last year's World Baseball Meaninglessness. Without Robinson "$175-million is disrespecting me" Cano to hit home runs in front of or behind him, Tex will have to prove himself again. Because Brian Roberts, whether he gets hurt or not, ain't Robinson Cano.

Fourth: The bullpen will be fine.

Wanna know why? Because that has always been the shining strength of Joe Girardi's Yankee management. He starts with a group of guys who seem like the Bad News Bears and turns them into an effective unit. It might take a little longer this time, but believe it: By July, there will be no grumbles about the bullpen.

Fifth: Ichiro is going to get traded.

Think about it: The Yankees know they have an outfield of Gardner, Ellsbury and Beltran, with guest appearances from Alfonso Soriano, going into this year. And yet, whose face have you seen in every YES spring training game? Ichi himself. You think they're not showcasing him for other teams? You think he's not helping by hitting about .150? He'll go, the Yankees will eat some of his contract, and they'll get a prospect you'll probably never hear about again. It was silly of them to give him the extra two years anyway.

Sixth: David Robertson won't be Mariano Rivera.

Wow--shocker, huh? The next guy to pitch the ninth inning regularly for the Yankees WON'T be the greatest closer who ever lived? We want our money back! However, Robertson will be fine. He'll get people out, blow the occasional save (which Mo did, too, if we're being honest) and keep the mentality he needs to be back the next night. Over 600 saves in his future? Um... I don't think so. Enough to get our nerves on edge when we realize this is his walk year? Could be.

Seventh: Derek Jeter will have a very good year.

He's Derek Jeter. End of story.